• Home
    • General Info.
    • Executive Function Skills Coaching
    • Sensitive & Gifted Children
    • Sensitive, Gifted, & Creative Adults
    • About
    • Public Speaking
    • Heroes Within Geek Group
    • Blog
    • YouTube
    • Geek & Gamer
    • Referrals
    • Coloring Pages & Printables
    • Neurodivergent Stuff
Menu

ORGANIZED MESSES

Orange County
California
Phone Number
coaching gifted & creative people

Your Custom Text Here

ORGANIZED MESSES

  • Home
  • Services
    • General Info.
    • Executive Function Skills Coaching
    • Sensitive & Gifted Children
    • Sensitive, Gifted, & Creative Adults
  • About Boonie
    • About
    • Public Speaking
  • Groups
    • Heroes Within Geek Group
  • Resources
    • Blog
    • YouTube
    • Geek & Gamer
    • Referrals
    • Coloring Pages & Printables
    • Neurodivergent Stuff

What Being a Hero in Video Games Teaches Us

January 1, 2020 Boonie Sripom
What being a hero in video games teaches us, photo from Canva, unknown gamer in an esports arena

What being a hero in video games teaches us, photo from Canva, unknown gamer in an esports arena

  1. There are bosses and monsters to fight, and sometimes we can do this on our own, find allies along the way, and team up with others. Battling external or internal monsters in our lives can be a daunting task. The great thing about being a hero is that there is the option of going at it alone, or taking a few players with you.

  2. In teams, different skills are used by different people. You are not expected to be the best at everything. Some people are generalists or hybrids, useful for many skills. Some fights need high agility or fire spells when you only have agility. A teammate with strong fire skills can battle with you.

  3. If you put all your points in one talent/talent tree, you are excellent for facing specific situations. Be mindful of your strengths, and when someone else may be better suited for this fight. It doesn’t mean you are useless. It means not everyone can do everything exceptionally well.

  4. Some games can be beaten or mastered in a day. Others take weeks or months to understand. Patience and information gathering is a virtue of a Hero. Practice new skills, and be okay with saving the game for another day. It will still be there when you’re more prepared.

  5. Other heroes know the fights better than you. Seek mentorship and advice. Online tutorials are your friend. If and when you get stuck, there is nothing wrong with asking the online community for help, and watching videos on how other people overcame challenging parts. If it’s difficult for you, chances are it’s difficult for someone else.

  6. As you journey you will face enemies; sometimes they are big, but most of the time they are small. You always have the option to run away or avoid the fight in the first place. You can keep gaining XP and skills to come back to the bigger bosses later.

  7. Sometimes levels are easy, and sometimes they’re hard!

  8. Heroes need armor and protection. As you quest and meet others, you will benefit from upgrading your armor and tools. The better the tool for the job, the more efficient your outcome. And sometimes, a really really good weapon is overkill for the fight.

  9. Elixirs can help give you abilities and resistance. Medicine is important to cure ailments or we cannot continue our Hero’s Journey.

  10. Being Brave: even if you are scared, because many times it is scary venturing into unknown lands and facing big monsters, you do it anyway!

  11. Sometimes heroes need help. It’s important to know a Hero isn’t someone who can do things alone. There is always a series of helpers along the story and game. The people who you surround yourself with reflect how strong you are. If you need to be surrounded by better people, search for them. Online communities can help build a stronger community if we choose the right people.

  12. You start off as a noob, then you become a pro, and god once you master the game. This is especially important to remember for those starting something new, or shaping a craft that isn’t naturally easy. If it makes you happy, is something you wish to improve and focus on, remember that we each started off as noobs. And sometimes we stay noobs. Not everyone is pro at everything.

  13. As in Life and video games, we have the Main Quests and Side Quests. The side quests make playing enjoyable and interesting. They can also sometimes be distractions from our primary objectives. Remember to focus and make sure there is time to honor the Main Quests, too, in a timely manner. If there are no deadlines, have fun on playing all the Side Quests your heart wants!

  14. Crafting or buying items can help improve your gameplay. There is nothing wrong with getting buffed in the game. It can make playing more fun at times, and sometimes it’s more satisfying beating a level without buffs.

  15. As you travel around maps and small towns, you will meet others who need your help. Heroes can do little things to help people feel grateful and safe. Over time, some of these people may even become your friends.

  16. Heroes rest, eat, and heal. It’s important to check your life meter, energy bar, health status reports continually. Stopping to take breaks to rest, recharge energy, bandage to heal, take potions, and eat are important things to be your best hero self.

  17. Some games don’t have to be played until the end. If you’re not enjoying yourself, it might be better to find another game to try. Some other games can be completed with the right research, practice, and time to develop new skills.

  18. If you die in battle, you can start over at your last save point. This doesn’t translate directly IRL, however, we can note that difficult times in life come in waves or cycles. We have life lessons that may reappear and we conquer it here and there. Facing these life lessons may make us feel like we “died” a little, so remember you don’t have to start the game over from the beginning. You have a save point to reference from. All the information and strategies you’re developing will help you face the monster, defeat the dungeon each time.

  19. If we failed a quest, didn’t finish with the best score or died in a boss fight, we can respawn and try again. Yes, life is not as easy where we can reset situations all the time. Games can help us build resiliency with losing, be in a challenge mindset (McGonigal, 2015), and bounce back more quickly from failures or unwanted outcomes. Try again!

  20. We start life and gaming at level 1. With experience (XP) and time, we level up. The same is said for life in general, and any skills we want to shape or improve. Every skill in life has an XP bar with points to accumulate until you level up. Sometimes it’s a grind, and the DING you get when you level up from novice to intermediate, to advanced, is so rewarding. You put in work and see the efforts manifest!

Geek Therapists can reference a person’s fandoms to help inspire positive changes and personal growth. Exploring video games is one way to do it.

What else does being a hero in a video game teach us? Please share!

More content about Gaming by Boonie:

  • Geek & Gamer Resource Page

  • Thoughts on Video Games YouTube Playlist

  • Video Games (part 1) Podcast episode

  • Video Games (part II) Podcast episode

Reference:

  • McGonigal, J. (2015). Super Better. Penguin Group.

In Children, Parenting, Mental Health, Coaching Tags video game, gamers, parenting, relationships
Comment

5 Reasons Gamers Won't Share About Gaming

March 22, 2018 Boonie Sripom
5 Reasons Gamers Won't Share About Gaming.png

I am an active participant in multiple FaceBook groups. Many topics are discussed where gaming and mental health are a primary interest of mine. There are stigmas and stereotypes related to different subcultures, and sometimes we may internalize them, or feel uncomfortable talking about being part of a culture with these greater messages implicitly affecting us.

I asked my FaceBook friends how they'd respond if someone (non-gamer) asked about video games. The responses were insightful. I remember wanting so badly to share my loves, sometimes my obsessions with a game, and yet I felt uncomfortable. I didn't want to share with someone who wasn't interested, and I didn't want to share too much. In relation to mental health, relationships, and therapy, here are some responses to why a gamer would not share about gaming.

1. Being seen as a child

Gaming is not accepted everywhere in the adult world, and it can be paired with being childlike. In order to separate oneself from these assumptions, a gamer may not respond when someone asks them about their interests. It might be admitting to being like a child, which can be embarrassing or shameful. The tone of the person asking may also indicate a bias they (may or may not) be aware of. 

Take note of your tone when speaking with a gamer. They might be able to pick up a subtle tone that appears mocking or condescending. If that is not the intention, please explore the possiblity of misinterpretations. 

2. They were made fun of for their interests in gaming

Our histories shape us and can permeate our present filters of the world, as well as our exchanges with others. If a gamer were bullied or made fun of for playing, it can make it difficult to share when someone genuinely wants to know. The past can appear very real and very present with many of us, so it can take time before a gamer can trust again to share their stories. 

Time and patience can help develop a stronger rapport. Maybe showing up and accepting a gamer, without the pressure to speak, can help prove that kindness is real, and that some people actually want to know about their worlds. Watching a gamer play can also be a nonverbal way of connecting and building trust.

3. Associating games with violence and the problems of the world

This is a common practice especially when a tragedy occurs. Instead of individual and contextual responsibility, an entire subculture gets blamed for the violence of others. To witness this repeated correlation of blame and the pairing of negative traits like high aggression and violence, gamers may not openly express their interests in gaming. To do so would indirectly acknowledge a possible inclination towards these negative traits.

Sharing about current events, and how studies can and do skew data can help strengthen the relationship. Focusing on the positive aspects of games can also show how you are an ally and curious about the culture. 

4. No one wanted to listen before, so they question whether anyone wants to listen now.

Growing up, some of us may have a more difficult time connecting with and making friends who share similar interests. This difficulty, whether it was in the home or at school, can lead to a lack of practice sharing about one's interests. So when we do find someone who wants to listen or knows about stuff you like, you might not believe it. Instead of sharing, a gamer could deny that someone is expressing genuine interest and stop themselves from connecting. 

Be present with the gamer. Having to enjoy your hobbies, interests, and play with online friends or away from IRL people can make it a slow adjustment to believe someone, a non-gamer (even another gamer), wants to hear about their life and stories. 

5. They've scared people away when sharing "too much"

Considering how a gamer might not have a steady flow of interactions with others IRL where they can share their interests, it can come out in bursts when they do find someone who wants to understand and listen. Perhaps this burst of sharing is overwhelming and the opportunity to share again is no longer present, or the gamer is self-conscious about how they shared too much the first time.

Self-compassion. It's important to slowly honor our quirks and how unique our experiences are. A gamer may not always have access to community or opportunities to share, *really* share about their gaming. Not everyone wants to know, or they can't keep up with all the terminology. It can be discouraging. Checking in with being overwhelmed with information can help pause or spread the dialogue over time. This can give each person a chance to digest new information and know that a future conversation is possible, so it does not have to be shared at once. It's okay to review another time, or clarify what you didn't cover the next time you meet.

 

 

In Mental Health, Geek Tags gamers, video games, relationships, parenting, couples
Comment

Therapy for the Misunderstood

May 8, 2016 Boonie Sripom
Boonie Sripom, MA, Registered Marriage & Family Therapist Intern & Jennifer Rodriguez Walker, LMFT

Boonie Sripom, MA, Registered Marriage & Family Therapist Intern & Jennifer Rodriguez Walker, LMFT

OMG Another Geeky Therapist!

Jennifer and I found each other on Face Book, through searching groups and identifying mutual interests. We met for the first time at Felicia Day's book tour (she invited me), and hit it off pretty well. We even decided to venture into something scary: making videos together to speak on things that resonate with us.

We finished our first video, and here are some things we discussed:

1) Difference is Misunderstood

Jennifer and I come from a place where we've spent our lives being misunderstood, and sometimes, it creates ripples in our interactions with others. We were able to start exploring some similar perspectives we have, yet gain insight on how impactful this treatment can be for many of us. Having these experiences of being labeled and/or mis-perceived has guided us to help other outsiders heal, and nourish their authentic selves. 

2) Children & Adults Who are Misunderstood

I work more with children and the family. I consider myself a "seed planter" with little ones. The pains of being misunderstood, or the confusions of being told by society how to act can affect relationships and our self concepts. There are different reasons for why a person can be misunderstood, and I genuinely love working with those who process the world differently; gifted individuals, creatives, and sensitive souls. Jennifer has spent her professional career working with adults, and finds the processing of layers of pain and meaning to be very fulfilling to her. She specializes in working with people with introverts, non-traditional lifestyles, LGBTQIA, and kink. 

3) Extroversion & Introversion

We briefly touched on the stereotypes of being an extrovert or introvert (I can ramble about this all day, btw), and it was validating to have a respectful exchange. Traits for any person vary along a continuum, and it can change according to multiple factors. Sometimes people can blanket generalizations, and it can hurt people when they don't feel accepted for who they are. We will probably expand on this later on. It was super fun!

If you'd like to hear/watch us, here's the video! (Disclaimer: It's our first video, and we know things take baby steps. With time and practice, the videos will be less awkward :P) 

Jennifer's practice is in Huntington Beach, and I'm in Newport Beach. We both love serving our geeky, misfit, outsider, creative, gifted, differently thinking community. To learn more about Jennifer, check out her website: Mindful Misfit Therapy

UPDATE: 10/2017 Although I no longer offer therapy services, Jennifer still does, and is a great fit for those who are misunderstood. Give her a call if you're in the area and looking for some support. 

 

In Mental Health Tags artists, geeks, gamers, misfits, introverts, extroverts
Comment
 

Organized Messes

Coaching for gifted & creative people.

April 2025: I have AM (PST) spots open for Weds. Please visit the referral page to see if there is a helper who could be a good fit for you.

Boonie Sripom, MA

Life Coach & Speaker organizedmesses@gmail.com  

Individual & executive function skills coaching. Special focus on Archetypes, creatives, Highly Sensitive Children, Twice Exceptional 2e gifted. Geek Culture Therapy, Video Game & Neurodiversity Affirmative.

Disclaimer: This site and its contents, shared links, and resources are for educational purposes.  They are not a replacement for psychotherapy or professional help. Please feel free to seek a second or third professional opinion. 

Online coaching & workshop facilitation in Orange County, Los Angeles & San Diego areas, California

Home  |  About  |  Services  |  Blog  |  YouTube  |  Referrals