Change Talk - What it Looks Like, Its Importance, & How to Help Someone Change

Change takes time. We have a unique reference point and history that is difficult for others to comprehend. When we start talking about change, it is a GOOD thing! It's a sign of possibility. It is also a sign of hesitancy and fear of change, because changing is scary and unknown. When someone starts talking about change, please allow them to talk out loud to make it a viable new truth. When we allow people to speak on wanting to change, or hesitating, it helps make it acceptable to try in the future. When we feel accepted to think about what we want to try, even make mistakes or grow from, it again, helps with moving talking about change to thinking about change and behaving in ways that lead to more change. Change has cycles, and relapses are normal. We default to what we're used to doing when stressed. If you'd like to work on changing a habit that's existed for a while, a therapist or a coach skilled in certain areas of life may be able to help. Motivational Interviewing can help people move from change talk to change action and maintenance.

VIDEOS ON CHANGE:

• Change Talk: Solutions or Validation? https://youtu.be/NmkYADfO2Kk

• Black & White Thinking; Encouragement to be in Grayness https://youtu.be/dNCbXPkwEks

• The Stages of Change & Bowen Family Systems https://youtu.be/ltvS3O4yE2M?t=119

• Enmeshment & Differentiation of Self https://youtu.be/EYIgjDki6cI

• What Plants Teach Us About Change https://youtu.be/i30KrqD9I0U

• Motivational Interviewing - Accurate Empathy or Confrontation https://youtu.be/kSumJHSkbTQ

• Change Cycles as Metaphorical Death https://youtu.be/qg8oCK9XGZE

• The Pendulum of Change, River of Wellbeing https://youtu.be/MiGUqIlJTVw

• Reclaiming Authenticity as an Outsider https://youtu.be/cuLaXp5d6BE

• Bowen Family Systems Cutoffs & Fusions https://youtu.be/VpRcagL72LI

• Protecting Yourself During Spiritual Growth https://youtu.be/RX1sc79nS2M

• Enmeshment & Differentiation of Self https://youtu.be/EYIgjDki6cI

• Adjusting to Change https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDm1q...

• The Importance of Professional Helpers to Facilitate Change https://youtu.be/BtLjNfDQn_M

Why Therapists or Coaches Ask About Your Health

Quick blurb on why therapists or coaches ask about your health history. Sometimes our physical health affects our emotional and mental well-being. It's important to rule out biological causes as much as possible.

Re: GYPSY & Therapists, Thoughts on Mental Health Stigmas

I mention my reaction to watching the first episode of Gypsy, and talk about how this is not the best representation *at all* of what a therapist is like. Then I talk about mental health stigmas and options when looking for a therapist.

LOL I cursed in this video (only once). I guess it's a big deal to me.

Disclaimer: I am NOT a therapist. I am involved in the mental health community, and have my MA in clinical psychology. Advocating for ethical practice is important to me. Part of this is to speak on poor representations of therapists, and red flags to look for. It's important to find the right-fit or a good-fit therapist for your healing. It's okay to ask for referrals, and sometimes it's okay to reframe a bad experience into learning what doesn't work for you. Ask questions on a therapist's experience. See if you can look at their blog or videos to get a feel for their competence and personality. Your healing is important!

If you are in Orange County, CA and looking for a therapist, please private message our FB page, Orange County Shrinks. We may have a referral or two for you.

Therapy isn't always hearts and rainbows

Although I will not be performing therapy as of 2017, I will still share on therapy and coaching on my blog. It is a journey to find the right-fit therapist for you at the time, and sometimes it can be a catalyst for change, and sometimes it can be an indication of one's readiness to heal or looking for more support.

On Becoming a Person (Book Rec.)

Hi fellow Messes! I was reading a section of On Becoming a Person and really wanted to share some thoughts on this wonderful book. What are some books that have helped shape your individual processes of becoming a person? 

Also, I understand that therapy is not for everyone, and I did use some hyperbole with saying it "changes everything". Please forgive my excitement with my process towards becoming.

Thank you for watching. Please take care! -Boonie

Additional Links

Carl Rogers: http://www.carlrogers.info/

Humanistic Psychology: http://psychology.about.com/od/historyofpsychology/a/hist_humanistic.htm

Safety in the Therapeutic Relationship: http://www.neuropsychotherapist.com/the-therapeutic-alliance-exploring-the-concept-of-safety-from-a-neuropsychotherapeutic-perspective/