5 More Things Gamers in Your Life Want You to Know

1. We don't want to disappoint you

Relationships are important. As we age, we can become more particular with the people we choose to keep in our lives. When it comes to family and romantic partners, gaming can sometimes make it difficult to connect. We don't want to disappoint you when you see us gaming. It hurts us to see you disappointed. When you tell us to get off the computer, or to stop playing games, it can hurt, and sometimes angers us. Gaming is a really important part of our lives, and it's hard to figure out how to play and not disappoint you. 

2. We don't know how to explain

Some of us gamers have an easier time expressing ourselves than others. For those of us who can't, we might get stuck with feelings of hurt, sadness, or anger when we're being told gaming isn't important, or to stop playing. Our emotions might lead us to yell or shut down, so it's hard to explain why gaming is important with so much going on. Maybe we've tried explaining before, but our communication didn't work, so it's frustrating for us, too. 

3. Gaming gives us a community to belong to

There are stigmas with gaming. There are stigmas with liking certain things "too much." There is an entire generation born into video games and internet culture, so there are likely to be misunderstandings and arguments on how important gaming is. Not all of us are social butterflies, sports fanatics, or (insert expectation here). Gaming is our interest, our hobby, and it offers us a sense of belonging. It may not always seem like we are connecting with others, but gaming is something we can talk/chat about with peers online, or with people we meet in person. It is our language and community to build on our own terms. It helps make us feel like we are not alone. 

4. We're sorry for getting mad at you when you asked questions about gaming

Sometimes it's hard to share about gaming because we get caught up in other events of the past. Perhaps people made fun of us, yelled at us, or told us we were disappointing because we gamed so much. When someone asks about gaming, sometimes it's a bad time. Maybe it's a really hard level, or moment in the game, and there's a lot of pressure to focus. That's not the best time for us to share about gaming because we might be stressed out. We don't want to hurt you, and it makes us feel worse when it happens. 

5. Gaming is an investment of time and energy, so it can be a huge loss when it's taken away unexpectedly

Players can log hundreds or even thousands of hours gaming. It takes time and care to level up characters, build efficient and successful teams, and learn diverse skills or maneuvers for end-game scenarios. Gaming can be our tool to process the day, or to redirect negative energy. Lots of us consider gaming proof that we can do well. Our avatars can represent our diligence to commit to a cause and team. The game represents our ties to others on a team, and the relationships we've made battling together, and helping each other over time. When it's taken away, it is a lot to deal with. It's not just losing a game for many of us; it can be a loss of friendships, confidence, or coping tool. 

Click here if you missed the first 5 things gamers want you to know.

Masculinity & Emotion (Guest Post)

Most people, women especially tend to think that men have little or no emotion and that is caused by two related things: Men experiencing and processing emotions differently than their female counterparts and the way society and our parents teach us from an early age that we need to be strong, confident, stoic and successful womanizers. It is a well-known fact that men who talk about how bad they feel, how hopeless, depressed, anxious, paranoid, entranced or madly in love they really are, end up being labeled as sensitive, weak, feminine, unstable, unable to be a good boyfriend, parent or husband.

We are always required to be the resilient and unmovable pillar that will someday be the base of a whole family, an example to be followed. Since we act upon that premise, women often complain that they can’t understand their partner’s emotions, but most of the time even men can’t understand them in the first place, and that creates an emotional gap between the couple. The problem is so severe that even if the man has consciousness about what he feels and knows how to express it, he most of the time will keep it to himself in rumination. That way he won’t be judged or make others worried, but will carry a heavy burden in his brain instead.

There is a high price to pay once you close yourself emotionally from the external world. As stated before, we might get confused and rarely know what we are actually feeling, having only physical reactions and repetitive patterns to guide through the emotional blindness. The risk of developing mental health problems and addictions since the negative emotions won’t leave your brain and will keep it chemically unbalanced in a great issue since most men don’t have a socially acceptable emotional outlet. On the other hand, we get to use rage more often than women. Rage is a great example of a “masculine” emotion, so it is way more acceptable to explode in rage letting it all out than cry and ask to forgiveness or forgive someone.

Concluding, men and women have all the same emotions, but we are shaped in a way that it’s not very acceptable for men to find puppies cute, express their love towards women, cry from grief or after watching an emotional movie, after losing the love of their lives, their jobs, even hugging friends or making deeply emotional conversations with others about their biggest fears, traumatic experiences, health issues, financial problems or anything that could be viewed as a weakness, unfortunately most of the times can and will be shunned.

Ivan Baretto's MBTI preference is INTP, and he is from Brazil. He is currently a student where he is studying computer engineering. He likes cute things like Rillakuma, gaming, and Japanese language/culture. If you'd like to connect with him on FaceBook, click here.